Soulmate
by TheSlashBunny
Summary: Usually when Gaara woke up in the morning, on nights that he actually slept, he would get up immediately and go about his day. On the day of his 25th birthday, when Gaara woke up, he lay there with his eyes closed. He thought back to the night before...


A birthday present for my beta, the-yaoi-squirrel. Sorry it's late, beautiful!!!

Inspired by the song Soulmate, performed by Natasha Bedingfield.

* * *

Usually when Gaara woke up in the morning, on the mornings after he had **actually** gotten some sleep, he would get up immediately and go about his day. On the day of his twenty-fifth birthday, when Gaara woke up, he lay there with his eyes closed. He thought back to the night before.

* * *

_After monumental scheming by Naruto and Temari, Gaara found himself in Konoha by noon on the day before his birthday. After epic manipulation and trickery by Naruto and Temari and, if Gaara was right, the entire village of Konoha, Gaara found himself at a surprise party in Naruto's home. _

_Gaara stood there at the door with Naruto and Temari, using all of the skill he had developed through years of being a diplomatic Kazekage in order to look pleased and reasonably surprised while greeting the partygoers instead of showing annoyance and thinly veiled hostility. He had expected something like this but it had been unavoidable. He was fine with pissing off Temari by skipping out, but he wasn't willing to hurt Naruto's feelings to the extent that disappearing would have caused. The things he did for the sake of that human incarnation of sunshine... _

_Five minutes into "his" party, he was already damning his high tolerance for alcohol._

_As Gaara wandered through the crowd of people he'd known for over ten years, he made sure to mingle enough to keep Naruto or Temari from interfering. Mostly he observed. Of the things he did best, observation was high on the list. His eyes shifted from person to person, through the different groups gathered. Over the years, most of the Konohans that he knew had done well for themselves. As he watched them, he not only felt happy for those he had come to recognize as friends, he also sank further into the beginnings of his annual birthday depression. Some stood in groups, laughing together. Others were paired off with their loved ones. _

_Chouji was discussing the merits of altering the ingredients of the punch with Kiba, while Shino gave several long-suffering sighs nearby. Shikamaru was having a serious discussion with Naruto's silver-haired sensei, one arm casually wrapped around Temari's ever-growing waist. The scowl was absent from his face and a wistful smile was on hers. A small smile crossed Gaara's face as he thought about the impending entrance into the world of his niece or nephew. Sakura and Sai were having a loud argument in a corner, but Gaara knew that their fights never lasted long anymore and usually were more out of habit than annoyance. Naruto had crudely mentioned before that there was a betting pool about when Sai would "get up the balls to kiss her." Neji had brought his fiancee, a lovely civilian girl he had met through Hinata. He was smiling more lately. Gaara stopped to speak for a moment with Lee who spouted off about youthful celebrations or some such nonsense before he ran off to ask a lonely-looking Hinata to dance. _

_Love and attachment could be a dangerous thing for someone in their line of work. The Rookie Nine and Team Gai knew this better than anyone. Not a single person was left untouched - they'd lost parents, siblings, lovers, and friends - but they refused to let that break them. Gaara knew from talks with older Konoha shinobi that this generation was unique. Older generations had been less likely to form lasting romantic relationships, perhaps because of the war they'd grown up fighting. This younger generation, though, had grown up fighting a war. But instead of letting it scare them away from love or towards loveless affairs, they had used love to make them stronger. They'd found people to hold on to, and they weren't letting go._

_If Temari had a son, he would be named Azuma. _

_After the Akatsuki War, Gaara hadn't thought that Hinata would ever heal from the loss of her little sister. Yet, there she was, smiling at Lee's antics. _

_Neji's fiancee knew of the dangers of his job. When asked if she worried, she'd answer that he had even more reason now to come home. _

_Gaara knew that Chouji hadn't even considered dating since Ino's death, but he seemed content to just be a father to his little girl. Gaara had bluntly asked Chouji about it once. He'd merely smiled and said that he was content to wait until he could see Ino again and tell her how proud he was of their daughter. He'd found his soulmate._

_Soulmate. Gaara heard that word so many times. Someone who loves you in spite of your failings - or perhaps because of them. Someone who knows instinctively how to love you. Someone whose trust and faith in you is unwavering. Gaara wanted that. He wanted it so much it hurt. It was part of why he hated birthdays. Another year of watching more people who had found the person they belonged to. Another year without finding __**the one**__. _

_And then, he found his soulmate. Gaara had realized he'd been in his life the whole time. And the birthdays had gotten even worse. _

_Naruto. The only one of them who had not even attempted to find the right one. The one of them who managed to love and be loved by __**everyone**__ hadn't even tried to find that one person whom he could adore. With how broken he'd been after the war, Gaara was afraid that he'd already found that one person. He'd lost so many people who were dear to him. But only one of them had died in his arms: a raven-haired traitor. It explained the sad, almost lost look that Naruto sometimes got when he thought no one was looking. But Gaara was always looking. He couldn't help it. _

_At first, he'd thought that he was just intrigued by meeting a fellow jinchuuriki. Finally, someone who could truly understand him. Sometimes, when Gaara tried to talk himself out of his feelings, he'd use this argument. Or the argument that Naruto's heart would never be his. It never helped. It just made life more painful. _

* * *

Gaara smirked regretfully, lying in bed, remembering when he'd realized that it wasn't just a fixation or a need to be understood. Shikamaru had drunkenly explained to him one night exactly why Gaara could be sure he would never hurt Temari. Shikamaru had slurred out his surprisingly coherent, strangely logical reasoning that he claimed proved that it was love. Gaara couldn't help but agree, just as Gaara couldn't help but realize that he was, as Kankurou put it, "screwed, and not in the fun way."

* * *

_The more time he spent with Naruto, the worse and better it got. Every look made him warm, every smile made him shiver, and every touch made him glow. And every time that Naruto got that sad look in his eyes, it made his heart sink. If anyone had noticed, they'd not mentioned it and he was grateful. He didn't know what to do, so he did nothing. He behaved as though nothing had changed, so nothing did._

_Tonight was no different. Gaara couldn't keep from watching Naruto. In the years that they'd known each other, they'd both grown up. Naruto had gotten taller, his shoulders broader. His hair was just as shaggy. His smile wasn't quite as bright and didn't show as often, but it was more sincere. In short, he was a beautiful, caring man._

_Throughout the night, Naruto made sure to smile every time he noticed Gaara looking at him and Gaara made sure to always be deep in conversation whenever Naruto seemed about to force him to interact with others. Gaara gave up covertly watching after the third time he saw Naruto skillfully avoid conversation with a partygoer and the sixth time he saw Naruto's fake cheerful demeanor._

* * *

Gaara wanted to just fall back to sleep, remembering how broken Naruto's eyes looked right before Gaara had retreated to the balcony.

* * *

_Gaara stood on the balcony of Naruto's suite as the party inside started to wind down. Occasionally, he'd have to look over his shoulder as someone poked their head out to say that they were heading home, thanks for the invite, happy birthday, etc., but for the most part he was left alone._

_After a short while, he felt someone's arms wrap loosely around his waist. _

_It would be easy to narrow down who the arms belonged to: only 7 people were brave enough to touch him outside of a professional capacity; only 3 people dared to hug him; and only one had not only the balls but also the skill it required to sneak up behind him. But Gaara didn't need to narrow it down. He'd recognize those hands anywhere - he'd stared at them enough over the years._

_That, and Naruto had never understood the idea of personal space. It still shocked those around them when the warm, cheerful Hokage would bound over (quite like an overgrown puppy) to the cold, distant Kazekage and wrap him into a giant hug. It shocked them even more when the Kazekage returned that hug, though in a much more subdued manner._

_A cheek pressed up against his ear and smooth tenor spoke. "You know, I'm pretty happy about the number of people who showed up to celebrate with you." Gaara continued to stare out over Konoha as he replied._

_"I told you I didn't want a party."_

_"Please. We finally steal you away from Suna for a birthday and you think we're not going to plan something? You know me better than that." Gaara could hear the amusment in Naruto's voice. His strong arms playfully squeezed, but Gaara refused to relax into them like he wanted to. Gaara was unhappy about his birthday tomorrow, like he was unhappy about all of his birthdays, and he wished for comfort. He really was annoyed about the party, but mostly he made no move because he wasn't sure what reaction he would receive from his friend._

_When Gaara stayed silent, the voice that he always enjoyed hearing turned whiny. "Come on, Gaara! Everyone was really happy to see you. And the __**real**__ celebration tomorrow will be really small. I promise!" Gaara was aware that Naruto's idea of small and his idea of small were two very different things. He also was aware that Naruto meant well, but he was starting to think that Naruto didn't understand him as well as they both thought. _

_"I hate my birthday." It was always a reminder of the horrible circumstances surrounding his birth as well as the fact that he'd never been truly happy on one, no matter how hard Naruto and his siblings tried. "I don't understand why everyone, particularly you, is so insistent. I'm only turning 25. It's not a milestone year or anything."_

_The arms around his waist tugged him back, tighter against a broad chest. Gaara tensed slightly. Gaara wondered sometimes if Naruto had decided that Gaara needed even more physical contact, because he'd gotten even less than Naruto had while growing up. If Naruto had, Gaara wouldn't complain. He'd only ever admitted it to himself, but he liked the attention. When he was around Naruto, he truly felt happy. In Naruto's arms he truly felt safe._

* * *

He felt safe.

* * *

_Naruto's hugs could fix anything, but Gaara couldn't let him know that. He was very unhappy with how the night had gone and it wasn't even his birthday yet. Tomorrow would probably only be worse. Naruto's next words were very small._

_"Yes it is. Anything over 20 is a milestone for a shinobi. You know that." Gaara did know that. So many, especially with the recent war, didn't make it past 20 years old. It was a sign of exceptional skill, not to mention luck, to make it to old age. That didn't mean Gaara was going to let it go though. His voice remained calm but firm. He wanted a reason for being subjected to something similar each year._

_"It's not just this year. Every year you push to celebrate it. You of all people know why I hate this so much. Why do you do this? Why is it so important to you?" Gaara felt what he thought was a shiver pass through Naruto, but a second later, as Naruto spoke, he felt the guilt for his anger begin to grow. _

* * *

The arms wrapped around Gaara began to tighten slightly as their owner began to wake. Gaara knew from the light against his eyelids that it had to be somewhere around noon, if the room was so bright. He'd slept, and more than just a few hours. The first time he'd achieved a full night of sleep had been after a difficult evening of meetings with a council of village leaders. He'd fallen asleep in Naruto's rooms after listening to him bitch about the Mist Village's questionable negotiating tactics. He'd awoken snuggled next to Naruto on the couch under a heap of Naruto-scented blankets. It surprisingly didn't smell like ramen. He smelled like a sunny day in a forest.

* * *

_"Because you hate your birthday. I don't want you to think you have to be alone anymore. Even if it pisses you off, I want to remind you that you're not alone." Well, damn. Naruto was still the only person who could ever make Gaara feel guilty over being blunt and annoyed. Perhaps Naruto's tactics hadn't worked, but Gaara hadn't realized that Naruto knew how he felt on those days. It was Naruto's next words that would destroy Gaara's anger about the birthday parties forever. "... and I needed to remind myself that you were still alive to celebrate another one."_

* * *

A face nuzzled into the skin where his shoulder met his neck. The skin of his arms and back were warmed by the body wrapped protectively around him. Skin on skin. Not a speck of sand between. The first time his sand shield had subconsciously fallen in another's presence had been the second time he'd fallen asleep in Naruto's presence. He'd woken again next to Naruto and, for the first time in his life, had felt the skin of another's hand in his.

This time, Gaara felt truly naked. No clothing, no sand. Only skin on skin. Yet, as his thoughts slipped back again to the evening before, he realized that he felt not only safer, but happier than he could remember ever feeling before.

* * *

_Naruto's arms had tightened to an almost vice-like grip and Gaara felt a growing wetness on the cheek pressed to his. _

_"...I was so scared..." Gaara could feel him trembling. "Seeing you that day... Just lying there." _

_That day... Ten years ago. _

_"I didn't understand completely back then. Maybe, at the time, there wasn't much to understand, but - " Gaara tried to turn and look at his friend, but Naruto's arms wouldn't let him. "All I knew was that I was terrified. I was so scared that you'd never... That I'd..." Naruto couldn't finish, but Gaara knew what he'd meant. He'd felt the same way when Naruto had faced the Uchihas for the final time. Even thinking about it frightened him and made his heart feel like it was being crushed. Pure fear. Fear that the other's eyes would never open again. That they'd never speak again. _

_After Naruto had calmed down a little, he spoke again. "I'll never stop celebrating your birthday, Gaara. I'm too happy you're here to stop." His voice grew muffled as he buried his face is Gaara's neck - strange behavior even for the touchy-feely blonde. _

_"I love you too much to stop."_

* * *

Gaara knew that those words and what had followed after were the reasons he was feeling so happy today.

Naruto woke fully that morning to a normally-forbidding redhead turning around in his arms and trying his best to burrow into the blond's ribcage.

"'Morning." Naruto's voice was still scratchy. Gaara heard the chuckle through Naruto's chest. "I never pictured you as a cuddler."

That earned him a glare and an assurance of severe pain if anyone ever found out.

"I know, I know. That'd completely ruin your reputation." They both lay quietly for a time before Gaara broke the silence with his usual tact. Or rather, lack thereof.

"Were you in love with the Uchiha?" Gaara was glad that he couldn't find a lie in his answer.

"I'd thought I was. I realized it the day he died. The day that you arrived to help." Gaara felt him take a deep breath, his cheek pillowed by a muscle. "I realized a lot that day. I didn't love him. Either he would die or I would. Or we both would." Naruto shifted in order to hold him closer.

"When I saw you that morning, I realized that I'd have to kill him. I couldn't let him hurt you and I couldn't leave you either. I never thanked you for that. You gave me the strength I needed." Gaara remembered that day so well. Everyone commented that they'd never seen Naruto look so determined and he had never before been so deadly. Even so, he'd almost died. He'd been in the hospital for weeks afterwards. He wouldn't have made it without Sakura's genius. Gaara hadn't wanted to leave his side, but his position didn't allow him to stay.

"Why do you look so sad sometimes?" Naruto laughed.

"I didn't think I could tell you. It wasn't very encouraging when you weren't there when I woke up. I didn't know what your preferences were or if you were seeing someone already. And it's really damn hard to read you. All those times you fell asleep on me gave me hope, but I just -" Naruto was starting to look a little uneasy. "Well, I didn't want to ruin everything or make you uncomfortable."

"What made you tell me tonight?" Naruto tried to answer with a straight face, but failed.

"Your sister is both very perceptive and very scary." Gaara even chuckled at that. "She told me to pull my head out of my ass and 'grow a pair.' I was really hoping your sand wouldn't go back to trying to kill me." After a pause, Gaara spoke in utter seriousness.

"I should've told you last night. I love you, too." Naruto started smirking and winked down at him.

"I should hope so, after everything you let me do to you last night." That earned another glare. The blond leered in return. "I can understand how you'd forget to tell me. You were quite distracted." Gaara chuckled. His chuckles got dangerously close to becoming a giggle before he managed to stifle them completely as Naruto exaggerated his leer and pushed Gaara back onto the bed.

His eyes softened as he looked down at the handsome redhead. "There's something I forgot to tell you last night, too." Gaara felt a roughened hand run lovingly through his thick red hair.

"Happy Birthday, Gaara."

* * *

A/N: I tried to write something without any angst!! I really did! As you can see, it didn't quite happen... Anyway, if any of you were wondering, I didn't abandon or forget about Itami! I'm working on it, but real life is getting in the way. Hopefully I'll get something out before Valentine's Day. And hopefully this will make up a little for my absence. (And I haven't decided if I'm done with this one yet... I might continue it. We'll see.)

Thanks for reading! I appreciate reviews/comments, as always!


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